Family Problems, Depression and Suicidal Thoughts
Posted: 28 Oct 2012, 11:01
Hey guys. I just wanted to share some of my past experiences of my life being everywhere all over the place. If you dont like it, dont read this topic. Ok, lets get started.
I look happy and full of energy at school but thats what I like to show. The truth behind my "Happy" face is dark. Everything has all been happening within the last 2-3 years. My mum has been diagnosed with depression and Diabetes. She takes pills and needles everyday. She used to overdose and say really weird things that made no sense. Now she doesnt overdose as bad as she did. But she still smokes a fair bit, and drinks. My brother at times is more of a mother than her. But lets move on. My father has found a new girlfriend last year and he is getting married soon, which, dont get me wrong, Im happy for him. He now lives in Melbourne, and left Adelaide on Christmas day 2011. Now lets talk about my amazing Grandmother, which she was a better mother than my own mum. I remember when she used to pick me up from Kindergarten and there would always be a chocolate on the seat waiting for me when I got in the car.
When we got home, we would always sit on a swing garden chair out in the backyard, and her dog Spark would jump up as well. We would play statues together and I loved doing that. I was REALLY close to her. I went to her place after school almost everyday. No matter what she would always make me a cup of tea in my special cup and make me noodles, even if she was sleeping. We went on a road trip to Melbourne, and I saw the smiles on her face and her laughing at all the trees and everything. That made me happy. Then she got sick in September 2011, Royal Show Week. Once, i was innocently playing billiards at my friends place and my dad comes to the door, crying. I answer and ask "Whats wrong, dad?" Ive never seen him cry before, EVER. He says "Grandma just died" I started crying nonstop for 5 days :/ A few months later, we went to her hometown of Balaklava and put her ashes in the cemetery there, and release blue butterfly balloons. What makes me even more sad is that I hardly got any pictures of her, except one good one. I'll always love her. I just wish people would understand me and not speak to me as if im Just "Someone Else" I wish I could belong. I have been feeling down a lot lately and I am dealing with Loss,Trauma and clinical depression. Just today, my mother just went crazy at me for talking to my own father over the phone, calling me a "f***ing bast**d" and that dad left me, which he didnt. He left my mum because she is unstable. I live alone with my mother and all she does is slam doors and yell at me and it feels as though there is nothing I can do about it. I dont feel safe here, but she says she'll call the police if I leave so Im trapped. I dont have any close friends to talk to and its been so hard to live easily... Im sorry for this, but I had to share it. Thanks. Bye
I look happy and full of energy at school but thats what I like to show. The truth behind my "Happy" face is dark. Everything has all been happening within the last 2-3 years. My mum has been diagnosed with depression and Diabetes. She takes pills and needles everyday. She used to overdose and say really weird things that made no sense. Now she doesnt overdose as bad as she did. But she still smokes a fair bit, and drinks. My brother at times is more of a mother than her. But lets move on. My father has found a new girlfriend last year and he is getting married soon, which, dont get me wrong, Im happy for him. He now lives in Melbourne, and left Adelaide on Christmas day 2011. Now lets talk about my amazing Grandmother, which she was a better mother than my own mum. I remember when she used to pick me up from Kindergarten and there would always be a chocolate on the seat waiting for me when I got in the car.
When we got home, we would always sit on a swing garden chair out in the backyard, and her dog Spark would jump up as well. We would play statues together and I loved doing that. I was REALLY close to her. I went to her place after school almost everyday. No matter what she would always make me a cup of tea in my special cup and make me noodles, even if she was sleeping. We went on a road trip to Melbourne, and I saw the smiles on her face and her laughing at all the trees and everything. That made me happy. Then she got sick in September 2011, Royal Show Week. Once, i was innocently playing billiards at my friends place and my dad comes to the door, crying. I answer and ask "Whats wrong, dad?" Ive never seen him cry before, EVER. He says "Grandma just died" I started crying nonstop for 5 days :/ A few months later, we went to her hometown of Balaklava and put her ashes in the cemetery there, and release blue butterfly balloons. What makes me even more sad is that I hardly got any pictures of her, except one good one. I'll always love her. I just wish people would understand me and not speak to me as if im Just "Someone Else" I wish I could belong. I have been feeling down a lot lately and I am dealing with Loss,Trauma and clinical depression. Just today, my mother just went crazy at me for talking to my own father over the phone, calling me a "f***ing bast**d" and that dad left me, which he didnt. He left my mum because she is unstable. I live alone with my mother and all she does is slam doors and yell at me and it feels as though there is nothing I can do about it. I dont feel safe here, but she says she'll call the police if I leave so Im trapped. I dont have any close friends to talk to and its been so hard to live easily... Im sorry for this, but I had to share it. Thanks. Bye